Monday, April 25, 2011

The (Ugly) Truth About Memories

I hope that everyone had a beautiful Easter weekend.  The weather here was picture perfect!  We had a wonderful crowd at church yesterday morning and our little handbell choir even did a fair jobSmile  Yes, I play the handbells.  We are the “Dead Ringers” – ha!  We are definitely amateurs but we ring those bells with lots of heart!

I will have to admit that this holiday has been a difficult one for me.  I really do not know what has made this week more painful than some others but grief never does seem to be predictable.  Last week was also the “anniversary” of my dad’s death and funeral; perhaps my grieving has been compounded.  I’m not sure but I do know – for sure – that Easter and all that is means…Christ’s victory of death!….gives me real hope – and I try my best to cling to that hope during these extra difficult weeks.

I was talking with a woman at the store the other day who was brokenhearted for her friend that had just moved her husband to an assisted living facility.  He was suffering with Parkinson's and has Alzheimer's.  I hurt for this lady as well as her friend and her husband.  Alzheimer's is just such a devastating illness. 

As I thought about him later, I began to thank God for my memory.  Sometimes, I confess the memories can, indeed, be painful.  How I long for loved ones..and even for times that were precious but are not just a memory.  Oh, but the truth is…those memories are such a wonderful gift.  I treasure them and love to rehearse them in my mind.  I pray that I will have them with me for my lifetime – and that they will remain vivid and clear and real.

I also want to purpose to work at creating new – just as precious – memories.  As much as I cherish the memories of yesterdays, they are not today.  And there is much to cherish about today as well.  As a grieving mom, it is one more learning lesson – the perspective of memories.  It’s a tough one, no doubt, but I’m working on it.

9 comments:

  1. It is definitely a process, but we are progressing aren't we?

    Hugs to you!!

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  2. Memories...some painful and some pleasant..are definitely a gift to be treasured. Blessings to you as you work through the pain of old memories...and make new and cherished ones.

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  3. Oh sweet Jennifer....I read your post with such sadness in my heart for you. As a Mom, I cannot imagine your pain. Yet, you always seem to have such a happy heart. I think that speaks volumes about you.
    Hugs,
    Kris

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  4. Oh Jennifer it makes my heart hurt so to hear that this was a hard holiday and week for you...And how I praise God that Jesus HAS conquered death!! It no longer has that grip on us because we WILL see our loved ones again! And your right...what a wonderful prospective you put on our memories. They really should be cherished...they are a gift from Him...they do help us to keep moments and loved ones alive in our hearts. And yet you are also right, we MUST make new ones everyday as well. I pray that all of your memories of your sweet son will always bring a smile to your heart, and that you manage to make many more in the years to come that you will cherish as well. Love you, Debbie

    In his message yesterday the Pastor was talking specifically about those who have lost loved ones and the significance and importantance of Easter to them. Because the resurection of Jesus brings us the hope we need to cling to that we WILL see them again...Oh death, where is your sting?

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  5. Jennifer...grief ebbs and flows just like the tide. There are times when I feel like I have a very good grip on things, then I'll hear a particular song on the radio that makes me think of my mom, dad, or brother and the feelings of sadness and longing overwhelm me. Yes, I'm very thankful for the memories I have of them. They, along with my faith, are what keeps me strong. Thinking of you!

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  6. Very personal and insightful post.Thanks for sharing. I pray our God will comfort you when the painful memories comes and give you great joy as you make new ones!

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  7. Memories~definitely a blessing...you always share what you're learning and I love reading about it!

    Hope you had a very happy birthday...you've been on my mind all day...praying that you got spoiled! :)

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  8. I am so thankful that you have loving memories of those who have left this world. Memories of love and caring are what see us through the hard times. I can only imagine what it will be like to see our loved ones again.

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  9. I'm so sorry it was a melancholy Easter for you, Jennifer. I so understand the feelings about Alzheimer's as it is prevalent in my family :-( You always have such a positive attitude--and I know you'll continue making good memories as well.

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