Monday, February 16, 2009

You're Gonna Miss This!

Before I begin, I feel like my post needs a bit of a disclaimer…it seems to me that lately all of my posts – a reflection of my thoughts, I suppose – center around the idea of my children “taking flight”…establishing lives of their own, growing up and needing me less (at least in the way they have in the past) and my facing a new chapter. I do find myself somewhat consumed with my boy leaving for the Air Force – did I mention we are down to SEVEN days!! – and that does make me anxious and even saddens me. However, it also excites me and, even, makes me prouder than a peacock!! I hope my posts do not always sound “negative”….there are, indeed, mixed emotions but some are GOOD!

Having said that, today’s gathering at the well is about friendships with our children. Although I’m not sure if I will link to the well today (as I have a jumble of thoughts with my post), it’s a great topic and worth the time to jump over there. There is a season when we can become good friends – for some, maybe even best friends (for most children, that person would most likely be their spouse) with our children – and I think I am approaching that season of life!! And that is exciting for me! As parents, we have a real desire to be friends with our children.

Unfortunately, many parents rush that time in their children’s lives – or certainly get their relationship out of balance. When our kids are young and when they are teenagers (especially when they are teenagers), our children need us to be parents….not their buddy! We can have fun with our children, enjoy spending time with them and a lot of other things “friends” do…but it needs to be in the context of a parent! Our children WANT us to be a parent – and we need to let their friends be their friends. If we will invest those younger years in parenting….the time will come when we can be (adult) friends! And I’m quickly getting there!

These days – for the most part – I spend the bulk of time at home just with my 18 year old, soon-to-be USAF trainee!! He is no longer working and I refer to our days as one (long) 16 hour quality bonding moment!! Mama Hen at Long Days, Short Years had a post up recently about the top 13 phrases she repeats (and repeats) at her house. It was TOO funny!! Her kiddos are still little one but I got to thinking about a typical day in our life. And it goes a little something like this…….

1 – Good morning!! Time to get up. (me being super sweet)
2 – About that pile of laundry in your room..you might want to do something about that.
3 – Okay, let’s go. Its time to get up! (not quite as sweet)
4 – What’s in this pile? Your room kinda…stinks!
5 – GROSS
6 – Alright, I’m making dinner now – get up now. (exaggeration added strictly for emphasis!)
7 – GET UP!! (all sweetness gone!)
8 – You want how many pancakes?
9 – You want another sandwich?
10 – Are you really going to eat all that?
11 – See number five.
12 – Turn that down, please.
13 – Is the laundry done yet? Hello? Umm…..see number twelve.
14 – I’m going to bed now – don’t stay up too late. (me sweet, again)
15 – Are you still up? (not so sweet)
16 – Go to bed!!
(you get the idea)

Wait a few hours……return to number one – and start all over again!! My goodness, I love that boy! I have heard that Basic Training begins at 0445 and lights out are at 2100…I LOVE IT!! And he's gonna be wishing for this friend of his!!

3 comments:

  1. Jennifer,
    I can so relate to this...Brittany just turned 17 and she now thinks she's an adult and should be able to do what she wants, when she wants to. I remember my dad telling me that children crave boundaries. In other words, children want to know there are limits...often times that's how they know you truly care and love them. Now is the time for me to guide her...a true friendship between us will develop much later. We have to make it through these teenage years first! :)

    I wish your son all the very best as he embarks on this new chapter in his life. I know you're very proud of the young man he's becoming...but, you're still going to miss him...A LOT! I completely understand...believe me!

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  2. What a wonderful wise post. I cannot at this point even imagine one of mine leaving me, but I know it will happen. I want to do my job wisely now while I can.

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  3. I'm looking forward to "that season" as well. (But DESPERATELY trying to hold on to the one we're in) You are so right.. children need us to be PARENTS FIRST! (At least until they reach adulthood)

    As for the quote.. thanks for permission to it.. I'm gonna email it to my bud now. ☺

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